Just Like You
by Cumberbatch Critter
Summary: And Akihiko decides that he wants to be just like Shinjiro. xX Rated T for language Xx


Just Like You

When Akihiko Sanada was four years old, he met Shinjiro Aragaki. They were both residents in the Second Home Orphanage, and both were far too oblivious of each other.

When Akihiko Sanada first met Shinjiro Aragaki, the silver-haired boy thought that the russet-eyed one was someone to fear. Shinjiro didn't sleep during naptime, didn't participate in playtime, didn't interact with the other students, and didn't have a very pleasant aura about him. Not that either of them could really understand that back then.

When Akihiko Sanada first met Shinjiro Aragaki, it was only because the one with eyes like the full moon hadn't fallen asleep on that one day. All of his playmates had nodded off on their blankets, but Akihiko lay staring at the ceiling. Naptime was generally a quiet resting time, one that calmed Akihiko down enough to sleep. Although, he was always more than willing to fall asleep once his head hit the pillow. However, it was different this day.

_Thunder crashes, lightning flashes…_

The four year old flinched lightly, pudgy snow-white fingers clutching tightly at the thin blanket laid over him.

_Rain makes puddles, I make splashes…_

Thunder suddenly cracked loudly over the orphanage, and Akihiko jumped as he thought he could hear the windowsills rattling against the far wall. A small squeak emitted from his mouth and he clamped his hand over his pale lips afterward, staring wide-eyed towards the windows that allowed the bursts of white-coloured light to be seen. The rain, recently pattering quietly against their tin rooftop, was now hammering incessantly. Aki stumbled to his feet sleepily, wondering where all his guardians had gotten to.

He kept a tight grip on the blanket between his fingers, slinking towards the far corner. It would be out of the way and farther from the windows, thus protecting him from the bright flashes that hurt his eyes. Unfortunately, with all the clumsiness of a frightened four year old, Akihiko bumped into something. Someone...

"What are you doin', pipsqueak?" came the rough reply, and the boy cringed backwards into one of the wooden chairs in the room. He knew that voice, and he knew that voice belonged to Shinjiro-san. "Get lost."

Another peal of thunder echoed throughout the quiet room and Akihiko was beginning to wonder why he was the only one awake. Besides Shinjiro. But on a much more pressing matter, he now found himself frozen between two terrors: the thunderstorm and Shinji-san. And in the midst of it all, Aki couldn't bring himself to move from the spot between the brunette and the wooden chair.

"I said, move it."

Aki moved it. Moved it to underneath the table, where he pulled the blanket over his head to try and block out all of his surroundings. Unfortunately, this left Aragaki staring at him with a mixture of loathing and surprise, a clashing of emotions that would have caused one to say that Shinjiro was actually a cute kid, even if his personality didn't match.

"What are you doing now?"

"..."

"What are you, two?"

"..."

"Aki."

The white-haired one blinked. Hardly anyone called him that name, if they weren't his friends. And strangely, it was kind of nice to hear it coming from that kid. "Shin... ji?" he tested out weakly, peeking out through a peak in the blanket. "Shinji-san?"

"Shinji-san? ...What?"

"W-What?"

A bemused silence had them both speculating over their suddenly confusing conversation. The silence lasted only a moment before a crack of thunder interrupted; one that sent Akihiko back into hiding and Shinjiro watching the younger one trembling.

"It's just a thun-der-storm," Shinji muttered and sighing quietly, pushed away from the wall, and against all his normal behaviour, ducked under the table to join Akihiko.

"W-Why are you not scared?"

"Because it's just a s... stup...ed... stupid storm," replied the only slightly older, sounding out unchildish words as he went. "Not gonna hurt you in here."

After blinking quietly, Aki flinched reflexively towards the other body under the table when lightning brightened the room. He could feel the warmth radiating between their close shoulders, being trapped in the blanket still over his own. Shinji-san smelled nice... kind of like orange juice and Play Doh. His fingers locked loosely around Shinji's sleeve as he jumped again, although the russet-eyed one did not.

It was in that moment that Akihiko Sanada decided something. He wanted to be just like Shinjiro Aragaki.

~.~

He was awoken by loud noises and an acrid smell assailing his nose. Coughing as soon as he took the first deep breath, Akihiko knew that something was _very _wrong. He choked and sputtered on that breath, cupping a hand over his nose. "S-Shin-ji?" he forced out, narrowing his eyes against the stinging they received. He was looking around for the brunette but couldn't find him anywhere.

Akihiko wasn't quite so sure when he'd ended up in Shinjiro's room the night before. All he knew was that it had become a sort of learned habit to travel down the hallway to Shinji's room whenever lightning started to light up the sky. There had been a brief thunderstorm the night before, one that, even without the typical power thunderstorms usually held, managed to knock out their electricity. Of course, this hadn't bothered Aki. He had moved past the stage of being afraid of things such as thunderstorms and the dark. Like said, it was just a learned habit to find himself in Shinjiro's room and that boy didn't seem to mind in return.

However, at the present, the one that he had come to be so close to had vanished. Either that, or maybe he just couldn't se-

Coherent thoughts trailed off as he stupidly took another gasp at the air, and he broke down in a coughing fit that he tried to muffle into the pillow on hand. _What in the hell? _he thought to himself, shoulders shaking as he tried to regain his senses. It sure as hell smelled like something was burnin-

"Aki!"

He whirled around, launching himself off the bed in a flurry of pillows and blankets.

"Shin-" his voice gave out before he could respond, although his eyes locked with the frenzied root-beer barrels across the room. There was moment of wild panic that flashed through Shinji's eyes, something Aki had never seen before, before a loud crack caught his attention. He looked up in time to see a beam from the ceiling coming straight towards him. _Oh, that's not good _was the only fleeting thought he could manage before throwing his arms over his face. The impact didn't come from above, though; it came from the side, slamming into his stomach and knocking whatever breath he had left in him out. He slammed back against the wall heavily, opening his eyes to find deep brown hair obscuring his view.

"Shin...ji..."

"God, Aki! Just... stand there! We gotta get o-out of here!"

He could definitely smell the smoke now. And if that wasn't a clue enough, the embers sparking into brighter, longer flames on the fallen rafter proved to him what he'd been dreading: a fire.

"C-Come on! And s-stay down."

He could barely register Shinji's voice over the cracks and pops echoing loudly in the room, but allowed himself to be tugged towards the window. Panic was starting to bubble up thick and fast, consuming him just as the smoke in the room was. He rubbed at his eyes thickly, shivering slightly.

"Aki?"

"Mmm?"

"Don't be passing out on me."

"Uh uh..."

"Watch your... head!" He had a split second to throw his arms up once again in the past minute and a half before glass rained down on top of him. He could feel the sharp edges cutting into his shoulders and neck, and he flinched, but almost immediately snapped back. Pure air rushed in through the broken window and he gulped at it like a man deprived of thirst, all the while Shinjiro was trying to force him outside. "Go!"

With some help from the boy whom was so much more in control, Akihiko landed clumsily onto the soft grass below them. Then, he reached up a hand and locked fingers with Shinjiro, helping him out of the firey pits of hell as he had done. Shinji's hands were warm and sweaty, hard to keep a grip on. But, underneath that, there was power radiating beneath those palms. Shinjiro had so much will and pride and power in his hands, tangible to Aki if he tried. There was also that strangely soft side... the one that was guiding Aki back to his feet and away from the burning building.

"Wait." He stopped abruptly, jerking himself out of his fine-tuned speculation. "Where's Miki?" He looked blankly towards Shinjiro, expecting a response. Shinji had stopped, but didn't look back at him. "Shinji...?"

"I don't know."

"You don't... You don't know? Shinji, that's my sister!" His voice was rising, pure panic setting in. "We have to go back, we have to-"

"No."

"What?"

"We can't help her."

"But-"

"No 'but's! The girl's dorm- it was up in flames! That was by the time I'd gotten back! There was no way I could have gotten to her without risking my own life, and then yours would have been as good as forfeit!"

"So what!" he shouted back, matching Shinji's tone of voice. It was one of those rare moments where Shinjiro was really angry, and all the silver-haired one could do was yell back. "She's my sister, I'd rather it be me than her!" His voice broke on the last word as he whirled around, planning to march straight back into the burning building even if it killed him. But Aragaki seemed to have been expecting this- he caught his hand and jerked him back before he could even take a step. Their momentum sent them tumbling to the ground, both sprawling onto the grass below.

Aki clenched his teeth together and tried to force back the tears stinging his eyes, but his battle was over before it began. So, he knew it was useless. He knew his sister was gone. He just _knew _it. There wasn't going to be anymore running around the city, just the three of them. The last person, the last part of his family was being taken away and he could do _nothing_ about it.

So, instead, he buried his face into his knees and cried. And he didn't care that he a guy. He didn't care that he was supposed to never show any weakness. He wished he wasn't crying and he wished it didn't have to be this way, but it was what it was.

No movement came to his side, although he was very aware of the boy of eight sitting next to him. For one wild moment, he envied him. He never seemed to have any problems, any inner conflicts that he had to work his way past. But... It wasn't true. Miki, she was important to Shinjiro, too. And this affected him more than he let on. That was just his inner strength, being able to hold on like this...

It was in that moment that Akihiko Sanada decided something. He wanted to be just like Shinjiro Aragaki.

~.~

There was something about hanging around in back alleys that Akihiko really didn't like.

"What are we doing here, Shinji?" he muttered, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he tried to find a comfortable position.

"Drugs."

He flinched at his friend's blatant attitude. "Do you really have to say it like that?" If he got caught with the smell on him when they went back to the orphanage... There were many risks to hanging out with Shinjiro since they had hit their age of ten.

"What would you like me to call it? Going to a land of magical faeries and futuristic robots?" Aki didn't respond, because he didn't understand the joke. Shinjiro had been caught up in quite a few drugs and those had been the days the pre-boxer opted out of the adventures. So, he didn't know what happened to Shinji when he took those drugs. He just knew that he didn't see him for up to three days afterwards, sometimes. And no one at the orphanage really seemed to notice he was ever gone...

Sanada curled his hands into fists, before rewinding and stretching his fingers irritably. He was aching to get back to the orphanage, to get his hands into those beat-down pair of boxing gloves. It had become his latest and greatest obsession: boxing. He usually practiced on his own, with a few pillows or objects similar. Shinjiro would help him out sometimes, but lately, their relationship had been growing strained.

"Fuck, Aki. Stop spacing out. You look more delusional than I do."

Mentally, Akihiko cringed. He hated the new type of vocabulary Shinji had picked up here in the back streets. And it was _full _of it. He'd tried to explain his dislike before (they were only ten!) and his friend had found the whole thing rather funny. And after that, Aki had stopped trying. And, in some cases, he found himself stuttering out those words just to say he was on the same level as his friend.

"Do you wanna try this or not?" And it was questions like those that _really _got Akihiko into trouble. It wasn't as if he could just say no, but he cringed back into the wall as Shinji blew the smoke from a cigarette into his face.

"S-Sure..." he murmured, not too sure of himself at all. What was he doing? Was he really going to get into smoking now? That was not going to help him if he was going to try out for the boxing team in Junior High school, which he planned on doing. He wasn't too shabby at boxing now, and with proper training away from the orphanage...

Shaking himself out of the fantasies, Akihiko took the cigarette from his friend. He stared at the smoking tobacco-filled rolled-up paper, narrowing his eyes slightly. This was all the same, wasn't it? It was just like a boxing match. He had to steel himself before going into the ring, take whatever would come from it, and try his _damn _hardest to beat whomever he was fighting. In this case, it was a cigarette. _Not much a battle, right Akihiko? _This would be easy. It'd be one punch and the opponent would be down.

He raised it to his lips and inhaled...

And that's all it took.

Round One. Ding ding ding.

Choking and spluttering on the smoke that was choking him, Akihiko tried to see past the tears brimming in his eyes. "What... the hell?" he shouted through rasping breaths, coughing heavily. "Shinji...!" What was _that? _Well, maybe he'd done something wrong but that was just about as far from pleasurable as he could imagine. But, he would meet something worse than the initial choking moments later.

Unable to capture his breath after that particular coughing bout, it was a second later that his stomach had flipped and he pivoted wildly to avoid throwing up on Shinjiro. (Although, part of him was saying that he would have definitely deserved it.) He felt eyes on the back of his head and he tried in vain not to let embarrassment creep up on him.

"Geez. Are you okay?"

He coughed in return, rubbing the back of his hand across his mouth clumsily. Shinji thumped him on the back, nearly making the one clad in the generic vest topple over. "S-Stop it...!" he yelped in a childish moment, catching himself against the wall. "W-What are you doing that for...?"

"To help you breathe?"

Irritation flashed through his veins. "No...! S-moking that!"

"This isn't even the bad stuff, Aki."

As if in response, bile rose in his throat for the second time. He couldn't answer after that.

As he slumped half against the wall, keeping himself propped upright, he couldn't help but notice Shinji's hands on his shoulders. He didn't know if his friend was trying to help him stay standing or if he was ready to start beating him again, but something about it was comforting any way he looked at it.

"S-Shinji, promise me... you won't do this anymore..." he murmured when he could, letting his eyes close tiredly. He felt exhausted. And all it had taken was trying a cigarette.

"Hm."

"S-Shinji...!"

"Tch. We'll see."

God, that was boy was so stubborn. No matter what his goals were, Shinjiro was always dedicated to them. He nearly never backed down from what was right- or what he _believed _was right no matter how bad it really seemed. And, in some cases... That was really a good thing. In a bad moment, Aki had found something else to admire in his friend.

It was in that moment that Akihiko Sanada decided something. He wanted to be just like Shinjiro Aragaki.

~.~

"What in the hell?" he muttered as he slipped down the wall. He stared down the barrel of the gun that had been handed to him by that girl. Mitsuru Kirijo, it had been. He knew her quite clearly, although his thought process was anything but that right now. He'd just... been stopped in the middle of the hallway by this know-it-all redhead, given a gun, and told that it involved the things that he had been experiencing every midnight.

And those things! He'd witnessed the strange moment alone, sitting outside on the steps of the orphanage. Shinji had been off somewhere, doing something that Aki decided he'd rather not get caught up in. And abruptly, in that one moment, life as he knew it had stopped.

"Holy shit," he breathed as he allowed himself to slide to the floor. He was more than happy that school had finished an hour ago, and that he had only stayed over for boxing club. Because had anyone walked past him to find him crumpled on the floor with what looked like a gun, they (himself included) would have probably freaked out.

No more had the thought passed his mind did a voice speak up. "Aki?"

With a startled yelp, he relinquished his hold on the gun and sent it skidding down the hallway. With a panicked gaze (he thought for sure he'd been caught), he raised his eyes to find the ones staring at him. And he knew who they belonged to.

"Shit Aki, you brought a fucking gun to school? Now I know I do some pretty stupid things, but this bypasses it all."

"I-I... God, Shinji, you scared me. I didn't bring that here..." He watched as Shinjiro picked up the gun and looked it over. "That Kirijo girl gave it to me. Said it could help me fight "them"."

""Them"?"

"... Those things that come out at midnight, I think..."

Shinjiro's attention snapped up from the gun in his hand, fixing Akihiko with a livid glare. They'd refused to talk about those things ever since they had both started witnessing it. Although they'd both been witnessing it... They both were refusing to acknowledge it. "What?" Aki watched as Shinji's grip around the gun tightened, his knuckles whitening. He met his gaze quietly, not repeating the statement because he knew the brunette had heard it all too well.

Staring at his friend, nothing but a quiet, speculating fear in his heart, he noticed that Shinji had very pretty eyes. Of course he had noticed his eyes before, but it was as if he was truly _seeing _them now. They were a light brown, not deep chocolate like most peoples were... The sienna pools that highlighted Shinji's face were magnetic. And Aki was falling into them, falling in...

"What the _hell _are you doing?" he questioned abruptly, being snapped out of his reverie as Shinjiro pressed the gun to his head. "Shinji, what are you doing, that's a very bad idea, I don't even know if- Shinji!" His reactions where torn between flinching back into the wall and making a move to grab the gun when Shinji pulled the trigger. The resounding noise that should have come didn't; at least, not at the caliber that it should have echoed in the hallways. "Shinji?" When he could finally blink his eyes open, it was to find something as perpetually frightening as every night at midnight.

Just what was that little red-headed Kirijo up to?

Hovering over Shinjiro's head was a _monster._ And that wasn't even the word to describe it. It was kind of a floating horse with a horn (a unicorn? but Aki didn't believe in such things), gigantic and black. But then again, it was only half a horse as the rear end of the animal was not there at all. It was... It just... There was no way to describe the beast. Riding upon the animal was a stocky black humanoid looking figure with long white hair and what seemed to be close to a blade into its chest. There were so many 'if's and 'maybe's as he described this thing. It was just hard to form a coherent thought around it.

"W-What is _that? _" he choked, hauling himself to his feet shakily. If someone spotted them...

"Castor." The look of pure peace and importance on his friend's face almost sent a small spark of jealousy through Aki's veins. What was it, what was this...? What was this-this _power? _

"Shinji... What is going on...?" he trailed off, hearing voices down the hallway. "Shit," he swore lightly, under his breath. "Shinji, put that away!"

A soft snort came from his roan-haired friend as he looked between the hallway and Shinjiro. His... _Castor _had vanished."Put that away… Honestly Aki, it's not like I'm takin' a piss."

Akihiko felt the flush creeping onto his face as he looked away. He and Shinji didn't really have much contact during school hours, around other people… In fact, more would not even know that they were friends. They were complete opposites, after all.

When he chanced the next glance towards his friend, Shinji's gaze was locked firmly on the right hallway. The twelve year old boy with the platinum hair smiled faintly, and then looked back to the left.

When the voices had died out around them, Aki looked back to Shinji. Their eyes met and an uncharacteristic smile lit up his friend's face.

"What…?"

"Aki, look at the power we have."

"We?"

"If I can do it, I'm sure you can. We both experience the Midnight Hour, right? And that girl, she gave this gun to you. So, of course you can do it. Try."

"No, no, no! That's alright!"

"Come on, you pussy. It's obviously not a real gun or I would be dead on the floor right now."

"That _was_ a really stupid idea, Shinji."

He shrugged. "Who cares. It worked. Now we have this power… And it's obviously going to help us. We get to kick some ass, Aki. Isn't that what you wanted in the first place?"

"Well, yeah…"

"Then don't stand there and look all fuckin' dumbfounded."

"I'm not dumbfounded," he responded coolly, brushing his jacket off. "Give me back my gun and let's get out of here."

"You know what, Aki?"

"Hm?" He carefully took back the fake pistol, tucking it into the pocket of his light-weight coat. He really didn't want to get caught with that in school. There'd be so much hell to pay.

"For the first time, I'm actually looking forward to this Midnight Hour. Aren't you?" he flashed Aki a grin that had him shaking his head in disbelief. Shinji was actually excited about this. Well, in reality… he was, too. But… He liked just how determined Shinjiro was when he found a topic that he liked. First it was cooking, and now this. That was a nice quality, this strength of mind.

It was in that moment that Akihiko Sanada decided something. He wanted to be just like Shinjiro Aragaki.

~.~

"Where are we goin', Shinji?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not really. That was a long time ago."

"Hm."

"Are you gonna tell me?"

"Nah. You'll see."

Crossing his arms in mock agitation, Ahikiko looked around. Him and Shinji were trekking through the forest out of town. He didn't even know what had possessed himself to let Shinji drag him all over creation. But his best friend rarely wanted to go out anywhere, and so it had been hard to say no. Or maybe that was just it nowadays: it was just painful to turn down Shinji. It had never been like this before. Things had changed so much.

"Shinji," he grumbled after tripping over a tree root. He was the best boxer in the high school, and the youngest being a freshman, but was somehow still prone to being clumsy while not boxing. Or maybe it was just his imagination. This was a hazard, this forest. "Where are we going?" Silence met his statement, except for the crackling of twigs and dried leaves under their feet. "Why don't you just tell me?"

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close your eyes and give me your hand!"

"What?"

"Do it!"

"I don't wanna hold your hand!" It was, legitimately, the first thing that popped out of his mouth. And he slapped Shinjiro's hand away. Legitimately.

It was in that moment that Akihiko knew he was going to be legitimately beaten to death.

"Shit," he swore, turning to dodge away. But Shinji had hooked his foot around his ankle, which sent him toppling towards the ground. He caught himself, scratching the palms of his hands. A small smile was beginning to play along his lips; Shinjiro might spend his time in the back alleys, but Aki spent his time boxing. When Shinji grabbed Aki's arm, he twisted around backwards to reverse the movement. He pinned his Persona twin's arm behind his back, earning a grunt from that man. They were both fourteen now, and both could hold their own weight fairly well.

Abruptly, he was slammed backwards into a tree which caused the air to rush from his lips with a low _whoosh. _"Damn you," he breathed, but there was laughter on his voice. He loved to fight with Shinji... if Shinji didn't use his full power. Akihiko knew that he still had a long way to go if he were to beat Shinjiro in a _real _fight. And then he had to duck to avoid a fist.

Minutes later, they were bruised, battered, and beaten, both sprawled out on the forest floor. Aki rubbed at a particularly sore spot on his leg, grinning all the while. Shinji was literally sprawled out on the ground, panting quietly while watching the sky. That damned-to-hell hat that he always wore had come off in the battle, and Aki was secretly pleased. He didn't like that hat anyway. Shinji had such nice hair, so Aki couldn't understand why he wanted to keep it up in that hot confinement all day. He himself had gotten a haircut recently because he hated how his hair would fall into his face while boxing, or tickle his nose in class. But Shinji had long hair _and _that stupid hat. He just didn't understand it.

"I'm hot."

"It is hot out."

Shinjiro sighed heavily, hauling himself into a sitting position like his friend. "Now, since you surrendered, give me your hand."

"You're back on that kick? And I did _not _surrender," he hissed, narrowing his eyes towards his friend. He was just pushing his buttons, he knew, but damn... he hated being told he lost, especially when he didn't.

"Just give me your hand."

"Ugh," he sighed, relinquishing his grip on the pants leg of his blue jeans, offering his porcelain hand to his friend. "You do realize that this is ten times more awkward than it should be?" he muttered, rubbing at his nose with his free hand.

"Who cares."

He resisted from rolling his eyes as he resisted from pulling his hand away from Shinji's as he was pulled to his feet.

"Close your eyes." He had a sick feeling that as soon as he did that, he was going to get punched square in the face. His hesitation must have shown because his friend spoke up again. "I ain't gonna hit you again. Why would I pull a dumbass move like that? If I'm gonna hit you, it ain't gonna be an act of cowardice.

"I don't know about you anymore... I mean, you are holding my hand, after all."

"Just shut up and close your eyes!" Akihiko decided that this was the point where he wouldn't test Shinji anymore. One fight a day keeps the doctor away... Two was just plain pushing it.

"Fine, fine," he muttered, letting his eyes close warily. And then he was being guided through only God knows what, getting scratched and bumped along the way. All Aki got from it was that either Shinji was a very bad guide or he was much more clumsy than he thought. Or maybe it was both.

"'Kay. Open your eyes."

"Finally," he grumbled irritably, snapping his eyes open. Only to be surprised.

Around him was a lake. And it wasn't just some dingy, old, normal lake. It was one of the picture-book kind with crystal clear water that looked clean enough to drink. There were rocks surrounding the watering hole and some smaller ones jutting up past the water itself. Looking up, Aki saw the cliffside that led to a small waterfall. This waterfall poured quietly into the lake below, bubbling gently to break the quiet of the forest.

"Woah," he breathed, blinking. "This... What is this place?"

"Somethin' I found awhile ago."

"This is amazing."

"Hmph. It's peaceful, is all. And the water's nice for cooling off."

The fourteen year old looked towards his expressionless friend, watching as the boy took his shirt off. "What are you doing?" He was really trying not to stare but... Shinjiro had a really nice back. It was perfectly toned and free of pockmarks, very muscular and...

"I'm going to go swimming, why are you staring at me like that for?"

Swallowing, he looked away, trying to ignore the warmth of awkwardness washing over his body.

"Tch. I bet you enjoyed holding hands, didn't you." And without giving Aki a chance to retaliate, he had dived into the water with only his pair of jeans on. "Come on in, Aki. I promised I'd take you swimming one day, right?" came the next words when the brunette broke the surface again.

He stared blankly, before frowning. "You did? When?"

"Oh, we were in elementary."

"And you're still..."

"This is the first good opportunity I've had to fulfill my promise. And yeah, I forgot for awhile, so sue me. Not like you care since you don't remember in the first place."

"Hmph..."

He didn't _truly _admit that he didn't remember. He was too busy smiling to himself. _You really are something else, Shinji-kun, _he thought to himself, watching his friend swim under the waterfall. It all been all those years, since elementary and they were now in high school, and Shinji was still honouring a promise made long ago. That was so much more amazing than any waterfall or lake could illustrate.

It was in that moment that Akihiko Sanada decided something. He wanted to be just like Shinjiro Aragaki.

~.~

"Damn it, Shinji... Where are you?" he cursed, hustling through the deserted town. It was chilly on that October evening, and he gripped his jacket tighter, not stopping to button it along the way. Why hadn't he seen it sooner? It was October 4th; God, he was so stupid sometimes. And when Junpei hadn't found Ken, he should have known. He should have known but he hadn't and now he was going to be the one paying up for it.

There was only one real place where Shinjiro would go. Akihiko was headed there now.

Why, why, _why _did the full moon have to fall on this night? At any other time, he would have been paying more attention. But the looming threat of Shadows ten and eleven had had his mind preoccupied. And while he'd been uneasy, he hadn't thought of _this. _

It had been two years ago now, when he and Shinji had first joined S.E.E.S. They'd been out on a mission, and they had had their target. And Shinji... Shinji had _lost control of his Persona._ And in the end, had ended up killing Ken Amada's Mother. It had been a freak accident. They hadn't been wielding their Personas long enough... and Shinji had always had a few problems with controlling Castor. But, it'd still been a huge blow to all of them.

And now, now it was the anniversary of that night. Ken was missing. Shinjiro was missing. And Aki knew full well that his brown-haired friend was planning to pay up for what had happened. Ken wanted revenge... of course he did. Aki wasn't sure how he had found it that it had been him and Mitsuru and Shinji that night, but now wasn't the time to question it.

"Shinji..." he growled under his breath, quickening his pace as he jumped the last few stairs in Port Island Station. Sudden footsteps had his knuckles white against the Evoker that he held in his hand, but a moment's glance soon told him that it was none other than the other members of S.E.E.S. Of course, they must have figured it out. Mitsuru must have realized that today _was_ didn't take the time to ask.

Abruptly, something that he'd long since become accustomed to, and yet, scared of in one fell swoop met his ears. It was the sound of a gunshot. And it wasn't one of the semi-muffled, non-echoing calls of the Evoker. It was a _real _gun with a _reai _bullet and...

He skidded around the corner, eyes focused in on the dark shapes in the alleyway. Taking one single step into that poorly-light back alley, saturated with so many memories, a chill tore down his spine. Another memory was about to be added to his banks and this would be one that he would rather he didn't have to witness.

"Shinji!"

"Shinjiro-senpai!"

"Senpai!"

He could just make the shape of another person stepping off into the shadows, but he found himself kneeling at Shinjiro's side. The tang of blood was thick in the air and it made him want to gag. He was just fine with blood and guts and gore... But not when they belonged to his best friend.

"What's with the long face... Isn't this what you wanted?" The brunette trailed off in his one-sided conversation with Ken, panting for breath, a pant that quickly turned into a coughing spell that made Aki ache on the inside.

"No, Senpai..." murmured someone, of the girls, but Akihiko wasn't focused on them.

"It's alright. Give yourself time. Let your anger be your strength... Come on, kid, you're just a kid. You've got your whole life ahead of you, so don't waste it. Make it your own... okay?" Part of himself wanted to tell Shinji to shut up and save his breath, but another part of him knew that saving his breath wouldn't save his friend. They all knew that...

"But I... I..."

Shinjiro sighed heavily beneath his hands, the ones that he was keeping on his shoulders. Why? Aki didn't know... He just had to be touching him. Before his friend faded away. To feel the strong muscles in his back, the warmth against his hands as the blood continued to spread, the rasping that came with every breath he took... It was as if Aki had gone ultra-sensory in these last moments that he was spending with Shinjiro. Why hadn't he taken the time to notice all the little finer points before this...?

But... wait... Maybe he...

"Aki." Shinji's voice once again drew him out of his reverie. "Take care of him."

"I will," he breathed, his voice coming out more steady than he could have thought. It was as if there was a chilly nip in the air, which, being October, there was, but... That wasn't the reason for the tremble.

"This is how it should be..."

Blinking quietly, Aki felt the muscles tighten beneath his hands and he pulled them away just as Shinji stood. He opened his mouth to protest just as everyone else in S.E.E.S. had, although they all knew full well that it would get them nowhere. And it didn't. Seconds later, the brunette's body dropped to the ground, and then it seemed to Aki, that there was a moment of resounding silence. That was probably just him, though.

Staring at his friend's bloodied body, he couldn't bring himself to cry. He was upset, but had no room for tears. Because throughout that... depression, there was a small, very sad smile on his lips. Shinji had... gone out like Shinji. _This is how it should be, _he had said. He had known that going to Ken had been going to his death. own And he'd gone nonetheless. He'd gone out protecting someone he cared for, and not wasting away doing nothing. That was... that was bravery, like none Aki had ever known.

And despite the fact...

That his best friend was no more...

That everything had eventually led up to this moment...

All of Shinjiro's actions...

Had caused this...

Despite that...

It was in that moment that Akihiko Sanada decided something. He wanted to be just like Shinjiro Aragaki.

~.~

**Author's Note: Just in case, here's the reasons Aki reaches his resolve at the end of every scene.**

**4 years old- No Weaknesses**

**8 years old- Strength of Heart**

**10 years old- Determination/Dedication**

**12 years old- Acceptance and Willingness**

**14 years old- Loyalty**

**18 years old- Courage**


End file.
